Bad Blogger

I’m such a bad blogger. I haven’t posted in months and I really don’t have a desire to post. But when I see my blog, I think, gosh, I should be posting something. Bah!

What have I been up to since the last post? A lot. My cardigan was finished. Yes, was. Until I started seaming it up. Then I realized I made the sleeves too small. Ugh! So I frogged them both and am restarting them. But I have no interest in knitting that right now. It’s hot, my office is an oven and it will only get hotter as the summer intensifies. So knitting an alpaca/cashmere cardigan just isn’t fun. I was so looking forward to wearing it at work, but then we moved to a new building and my new office is so hot, I have to work with a fan blowing on my face all day. If not, I start to get sick from the heat. So, no. I don’t particularly want to work on a cardigan at the moment. It might be in hibernation until fall. :(

My other project…DH’s afghan is going well, albeit slow. It’s fun to knit, easy and not too boring since I change colors every 46 rows. But I’ve got 6 strips to make that are 8 squares long. ha! The first strip is almost done. This one isn’t quite so bad as the cardigan. Mindless knitting for when I want to knit something, but also just want to vegetate in front of the tv at night. Done in strips means no heavy afghan on my lap, which is nice.

Let’s see. I’ve also got some Jaywalkers on the needles. Since March!! That’s another adventure. I was using my Lantern Moon sox stix and they were pretty nice to work with. I finally got used to the flexibility of these little things and the dull tips. I finished the first sock and started the second. Then just as I got to the heel, I lost a needle! Yes, I now have only 4 sox stix. It’s a sad, sad thing. So I had to switch mid-sock to circs. I’m now using 2 circs and somehow I ended up with an extra stitch somewhere in there. Oh well. Imperfect socks, but after 2 months of knitting them, I’m ready for them to be done, so I’ll continue on and pray the end arrives soon.

This past week I knit 4 dishcloths for Amelia’s daycare teachers. Next week is teacher appreciation week and I thought it would be nice to give them handknit dishcloths. I just need to weave in the ends and block them (so they lay flat for presentation), then wrap them up and do the notes. That will get done this weekend, so they can be delivered next week.

What else?? I cast on and completed row 1 of the Little Arrowhead Shawl (links to PDF). I really want to learn lace so I thought I’d start with something smaller than the Adamas Shawl. Of course, my neck and shoulders hurt so bad, I knew I couldn’t sit there and work on it. And I’d been knitting all morning and needed something relaxing to do, so instead of trying to continue, I sat there and watched tv without knitting!! Gasp!! But I do plan to get working on it pretty soon. I’m using a gorgeous green Classic Elite Miracle. It’s a single ply alpaca/tencel and it’s so soft and yummy.

So why do I not post here anymore? Maybe after blogging for 5 years I’ve got blog burnout. I don’t even read blogs anymore. I don’t update my personal blog either, except for maybe once a month. I really need to get back to it. At least the knitting portion. But I feel like everything is redundant, since I spend most of my online time on Ravelry. And since I don’t have a huge readership (with all of 3 comments since I switched to WordPress a while back), I have no incentive to update.

Stuck and Miserable

I feel I must write a blog post today. For whatever reason, I am feeling blah. Maybe I just need a vacation. I true vacation, not just a day or two off here and there. But I’m really not enjoying my job.

I really wish I could somehow get another job of comparable pay and benefits that doesn’t involve computers except at a tool to aid me in my work. I don’t want to be a developer anymore. I don’t want to sit in front of a computer every day writing code. I’ve done it for almost 8 years now and I’m tired of it.

But herein lies the problem. I don’t have experience doing anything else. Sure, I worked at a public library for 6 months back in the day, but that’s not real experience to qualify me to be a librarian. There’s a job opening for an assistant manager at a local bookstore. If it didn’t mean a huge cut in pay and benefits, I’d apply. I’ve always dreamed of working in a bookstore or library.

We’ve talked about someday moving back to Florida, but the thought of doing that dreaded job search and knowing I can only look for another developer job just feels like a vise on my heart. I know what my husband feels every time he gets thisclose to quitting his job because he just can’t stand it. It sucks to be so miserable at your day job (where you spend more time than at home) and know that you just can’t up and quit and find something else because you have a family that depends on that income. I understand completely how he feels and I hate that we are both in that situation with seemingly no way to fix it.

We have way too much debt and daycare to just go for a change without thinking of the repercussions. And that makes things even worse. So I sit here trying to keep it together while I plug away at the same freaking project I’ve been working on for the past year or more trying to get something to work so I can move on and maybe at least tolerate my job.

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