How I'd Give Away $1 Million


It depends on how I have to give it away. I’d love to give some to my parents and of course I’d want to set up a trust for my daughter so she would be financially secure when she gets older. But I’d also want to donate to several charities. Since I was a preemie myself, I’m fond of the March of Dimes. I also would want to help end childhood hunger.

My daughter recently started reading and it has opened my eyes to how much of our daily lives requires knowing how to read and we do it without even beIng aware of it. I can’t imagine what she goes through not being able to read. So I think I would want to help the literacy campaign.

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My January 2012

My January was awesome! I had two weeks away from work to start off the new year. I spent one whole week at a pre-1840s encampment with family and friends. Such a relaxing week! Then the following week, I was at training instead of the office. Class only had one other student besides myself, so it was a relaxed week as well.

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This Spring I'll be Outdoors

We just got our daughter a play set for the backyard. Two swings, a see-saw, a rock wall, a slide and monkey bars. It is set up right next to her playhouse. I see many summer weekends being spent in our backyard this year. I am so excited, because now that she’s 4, she definitely needs to spend more time outside rather than sitting in front of the tv. This is the perfect way for her to do that, because I don’t have to drive and take her to some big, open, playground where I’m constantly paranoid she’ll disappear.

This is so much better. I can get stuff done at home while she plays in the backyard. I can sit out there and spin, or knit, or read a book and not worry. I don’t have to have eyes on her every second that she’s out there playing. We don’t have to schedule playtime at the park, because she can just walk outside. I can still see her while I’m cooking dinner, or just cleaning up the kitchen.

For her, it’s awesome fun. For me, it’s freedom to let her play and less worrying for me. Good all around.

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I Wish I Could Do It Over

While I was pregnant, my mother came up a week before I was due to stay with me and she spent a lot of time cooking, and cleaning the house getting it ready for the new baby. When I went into labor, naturally my father and sister drove all the way up from central FL to central AL to see their new grand-daughter/niece. They were staying with us and when the new family (myself, husband and baby) arrived home everyone huddled around the baby. My husband felt very self-concious about it and felt they were judging his abilities as a new dad. Our house is pretty small so the only place for my sister to sleep was on the couch. My husband felt uncomfortable so I told my sister to sleep on the floor in the spare room with my parents.

My dad and sister were so heartbroken that I’d shunned them when they had done so much to help get the house ready. And they had come all that way to share in the joy of a new family member. But I treated them so horribly that they left the next day, instead of staying and enjoying the new baby. To this day, I still cry and feel so guilty whenever I think of how badly I behaved. I barely remember them being around, because they were there so briefly and for part of the time I was still not aware of my surroundings because of the drugs.

My husband doesn’t understand that part of our family. We gather and experience everything together. My family wasn’t judging his parenting skills. They were admiring the new baby.

If I could do it all again, I would do so many things differently, from the moment my water broke to several weeks after the baby was born. But most importantly I wouldn’t push my family away at such an important time, just to quell my husband’s insecurities. I don’t think I’ll ever get past the guilt and regret for the way I treated them.

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